Holding On And Letting Go
by 2-huge-tiva-shippers-and-mary
Summary: Set after 11X01 & 11X02. Join Tony and team Gibbs in their journey to find Ziva, after she left for Israel. After Tony, finally, finds her, something happens between them that will change their lives forever. *We suck at summaries but PLEASE give it a try
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:Hey of all,you have to know that we are 3 crazy girls who one day decided to write a ,this is our first ff EVER so please be nice because we don't have a beta and English is not our native language.**

**Disclaimer:We own nothing besides from our mistakes.**

**Enjoy!**

4 Months ago they decided to hand off their badges. It was the right decision. They were all in this together. It was not fair for Gibbs to take the fall alone. He would've done the same thing for them. She was sure about it, they were a family after all. She'd meant everything she'd said back then in Gibbs's cabin when they were invastigating Parsons. It was not about the job anymore, it was about them. They are the only ones who had remained by her side, despite everything they've been through together.

Now that they had quited their jobs, they had plenty of free time to do as they pleased. At least, until they returned back to NCIS or found a new job, which was highly unlikely, because they all were NCIS agents at heart and joining another Federal Agency, would feel like a betrayal.

.  
.

McGee started spending, as much time as possible, with his girlfriend, Delilah. He couldn't believe his luck. He finally found his soulmate, he was sure of that, even though they only knew each other for a month. Well 28 days to be accurate, but who was counting. He was so over the moon with her. They made each other trully happy.

Those two could not be apart for longer than two hours. They spent all day, every single day, together. Long walks around the town, afterwards cinema and dinners in little pubs, and then going for an additional walk under the moonlight. Those nights usually ended after midnight, when the two of them went to Mcgee's apartment or sometimes in Delilah's apartment. What followed, and it happened quite frequently, if it was witnessed by third persons, it would be surely described as wholely inappropriate, even for adults.

Yesterday was one of those sleepless nights. The magical night had started right after the sun had set in the horizon. McGee parked outside Delilah's place and jumped out of the car, pulling a giant bouquet of white orchids from the passenger's seat. He sprinted towards the apartment, but stopped at the doorstep. He then fixed his hair, one more time, checked his breath and scretched his arms a little bit. After he was done, he went to knock on the door. As he raised his hand, the door suddenly burst open, revealing a laughing Delilah.

His breath caught in his throat, when he laid eyes on his girlfriend. She was wearing black tip-toes heels, a sky blue flower dress and she was wearing her hair in a loose ponytail.  
"Tim... You do realise, that every time you come to pick me up, I just stand behind the door waiting for you to finish your rituals, right?"

His face changed 15 shades of red, until he managed to speak again.

"I-I..."

Delilah interrupts his awkward attempt to form a sentence, by planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Don't worry."she said hovering over his lips. "I actually find it kinda cute."

"Ok... then. Shall we go, my fair lady?" he said with a thick British accent.

"Of course, my charming knight in the shining armour." she replied. "Oh and by the way, that was the worst British accent I've ever heard." she said chuckling.

They left Delilah's apartment behind and then drove to the city centre.

"So? Where are you taking me tonight Tim?" Delilah asked, curious about where they would enjoy their dinner.

"It's a surprise!" replied an enthusiastic McGee.

"And by that, you mean that you haven't figured out yet." she commented. Not that she didn't trust him to take them to a good place, he had excellent taste in restaurants, she just loved teasing him.

"Exactly." he replied laughing.

"How about that cozy little tavern we passed by in the morning? It looked nice and the smells coming out of it were even nicer." suggested Delilah.

"Ok then. Small tavern, here we come!"

45 minutes later...

"Hey, Tim! Look, I see a parking space there on your left!"

The small tavern proved to be more popular than the couple thought. There were cars parked around it, everywhere. They were lucky to find a parking space and even that was a good 50 feet from the tavern.

1 hour and 30 minutes later...

"Mmm.. The food is just epic! No wonder how many people showed up tonight. We should come here more often."

"I agree." replied McGee swallowing. "Now that I don't have a job, I have ample time to spend with you." Sadness was evident in his voice.

"Hey." said Delilah, placing her right hand on top of McGees, giving it a slight squeeze."Your job at NCIS might be over, but you'll find a new one soon. You are too brilliad and talented to stay unemployed. Don't worry, you'll be back on duty soon." she finished, squeezing his hand one more time.

"That's the problem, babe, I don't want a new job. I want my old one. NCIS is like a family to me. It has taught me everything I know. Joining another agency, would feel like I'm betraying it." replied Mcgee sighing.

"Listen, I have no idea how you are feeling, I can imagine, but it's not the same. All I want you to know is that, I will be here with you no matter what you decide, ok?" she asked him.

"I know, and thank you." he replied taking her tiny hands into his bigger one's and placing a soft kiss across her knuckles.

They left the tavern satisfied from the food and their talk. They set off and went for a little walk under the moonlight. They reached a park surrounded by tall trees. As they were walking, they took in the scenery, which was too magical and too good to be true. Tim afraid to ruin the moment, he slowly removed his right hand from his jean pockets and was about to place it around Delilah's small back, when the sound of an owl echoed from somewhere behind him.

He stopped dead in his tracks and almost jumped on Delilah.

"Tim, you're a federal agent, for Christ's sake, you face terrorists every single day." said Delilah who was hysterically laughing by that point.

"I was not scared, I was just scanning our surroundings behind your back, because I'm a good investigator. That's what I do for a living." he replied embarrased.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, let's go home." she said grabbing his hand and shoving him towards his car.

.  
.

Abby, on the other hand, was depressed.

While other people usually listen to ballads, when they are down, Abby had just discovered a new pop/rock band, named R5. Her fifteen year old neighbour's daughter, had just taken her in the world of the R5family. In just a few days, Abby had memorised all the lyrics, of all the songs. She loved every single one of them, but her favourite, of all times, was 'Never'.

It was the most relevant to the present situation, between her and McGee. She wasn't going to leave him, even if World War III was breaking outside. She would always be by his side, even if he dated other women, or in this specific period, Delilah. Abby can relate so much to the songs, that if she knew how to compose music, she would have written the songs herself.

Man, she was so grateful, to Mary, her neighbour's daughter, that she wanted to return the favour. Maybe she could buy tickets for both of them and go to an R5 concert. Yeah, that was what she was going to do, after she deals with her maniac jealousy of McGee's and Delilah's relationship. Yup, sounds like a good plan.

.  
.

Gibbs was on a "need-to-know" mission somewhere in the Middle East and nobody knew anything about it or Gibbs's state.

He had mixed felt betrayed from Ziva who abandoned them, was the fifth woman he cared about that left him. But there was a difference between Ziva and the others. She had left them by choice. It was not only him who suffered from her departure,he was too occupied with his mission to think much about anything else.

His team was in worse shape. Abby was trying to come to terms with Ziva's departure,McGee and Jimmy were preoccupied with girlfriends and wifes, Ducky was frustrated and Tony was searching for her without any luck so far.

.  
.

The summer found Jimmy and Breena trying to adopt a baby or a age or the gender didn't matter as long as it was healthy, both mentally and spent every spare hour, visiting all kind of orphanages across the state from the one who sheltered abused children,orphaned children and babies who had been abandoned by their routhless saw a few dosens of children but none of them was what they were looking for.

But were determined to find the right child for them. Not that all the childs with which they interacted before had something wrong with them, they just didn't seem to fill the image of their future child they had created in their minds. Finding the next potential member of their family, might take them a while, but they're sure it's gonna be worth the amount of time and energy spent for that, because that's what is going to make their lives complete. Raising a child might be a hard job to do, especially since the child won't be theirs and will probably come from a very bad background, but they are more than just willing to take the big step into parenthood.

.  
.

Vance is trying to spend his time with his two lovely children. After Jackie's death he felt lost and alone in the big house. He finally understood Gibbs, he lost his wife and his child and Vance couldn't image his life if he had lost his precious two children. So, he is trying to fill the emotional void their mother's loss left in their hearts. He also got a babysitter. Her name is Milly and she and the kids have a great time together. The nanny makes them happy, and that is what Vance cares the most. But he knows that she won't make them as happy as their mother did.

After a couple of days Vance decided to take the kids for fishing. He thought that it would be a good idea for him to spend some quality time with his two children. They rented a camping van and they went to Virginia's beautiful beach.

Jared, Kayla and Vance took one of Gibbs's fishing boats and headed off to one of the most famous fishing spot. When they got there, almost half a dozen families where fishing around them. When they found their spot, they took the rods and then they put the baits on the hooks. Vance put Jerad's rod slowly into the water. Kayla put it alone - because she knew how, she and Vance have been fishing before.

After half an hour Jared caught a big fish.

"Great job son!" Vance said.

Kayla hugged her brother with happiness. Vance looked at them with a proud look. He wished that his wife could be there and she would see them too.

They got back from the boat to the beach. They lighted up a fire, because it was getting dark and because they wanted to cook the fish.

Vance went inside the van to clean the fish. The kids were outside, near the fire. They were laughing. Vance was happy that they were laughing again.

They spend the night at Virginia. The next morning, the sun was so bright that woke them up. The kids wanted to stay more, but Vance had to go to work. It was the last time that they would spend time together throughout the summer...

.  
.

Ziva missed her job too. She missed the adrenaline, that pumped through her veins everytime they chased a suspect. She missed the warm feeling that settled on her stomach, when they caught the killer and brought justice to their families. But most of all she missed the team.

Gibbs's icy glare, Tony's jokes, McGee's computer talk, Abby's bone-crushing hugs, Jimmy's awkwardness and even Dacky's long stories. She missed her family.

Unfortunately, after they quit their jobs, they lost touch. Gibbs was in a secret mission somewhere in Middle East, McGee was spending time with his girlfriend, Jimmy had a wife and Dacky and along with Abby had their jobs to do.

The only person who kept in touch with her, was Tony. They would text each other frequently and talk about their day, but that was it. No mention of their so-called f-f-friendship. She felt both happy and sad.

Happy, because she has no idea how she would handle the situation, if Tony asked about their "friendship". Sad, because she was tired of their situation and wanted something more, but she was afraid that Tony might not have the same feelings.

She was just too confused to do anything about them, so she just waited for Tony to do the first move, "or was it make the first move" she thought to herself.

Anyway, her life was a big fat mess.

.  
.

If everyone else were taking Ziva's departure that hard, imagine the living hell Tony's life had become. When he wasn't watching a movie or being drunk,Ziva would suddenly acknowledge her presence in his mind,overruling his other thgouts (he was thinking of Ziva every single second, of every single day). His only comfort was his goldfish, Kate. She was the only woman in his life, that hadn't abandoned him...yet.

One day, he reached a point that he couldn't take the depression anymore and left his apartment to go for a walk outside, to calm his nerves. He walked in the town for hours and hours, until he couldn't feel his legs anymore. Therefore he decided to stop at a nearby cafe.

He didn't actually want to eat anything, oh no, his stomach couldn't handle any food, not anymore. His once, bigger than a grey wolf's, appetite had disappeared magically, but he believes that Ziva, along with his heart, she had also taken his stomach with her to Israel.

Anyways, he entered the cafe and sat on an isolated table in the furthest corner of the shop. Then, a dark haired woman, dressed in cargo pants and carrying a bag over her shoulder, entered the shop, as well. A flashback from when he first met Ziva, poped in his mind.

From the moment she walked into his life, he knew that their relationship was bound to be complicated. That was literally shown from the first ever words she told him: "phone" and "sex", the two things a normal person cannot last a day without, or to greet someone you've just met. But Ziva wasn't your average woman, she's a lot more than just that.

Firstly, it was her looks and that kind of flawless walking she had, that made all the men to do a double take. Then it was her above the average intelligence and her amazing grace in outsmarting everyone. And don't forget the mysterious aura that surrouded her, which misleaded everyone, who didn't know what of person she is, to think that she was some sort of a "feme-fatal", when in reality, Ziva is the exact opposite.

Ziva is a very powerful woman and too independed for her own good. That was shown by the way she abandoned him, to go back to Israel, her home. No, he needs to rephrase that. She went back to Israel, where her FAMILY'S home was, not hers. Because, over the years, DC had become Ziva's home, the place where she actually felt safe and loved. She was loved like family, by all the members of team Gibbs, maybe a little more by Tony, but he never got the chance to tell her, not before she left to spread her wings away from the comfortable nest of NCIS.

Wait... The nest of NCIS?

Man, the 12th can of beer, he had this morning, has really mixed up his thoughts. Oh, here comes the dizziness, that came to accompany his foggy thoughts. Ok, I think it's time to go back to reality DiNozzo.

He blinked a few times, before he remembered where he really was. The first thing he noticed, when he looked around the shop, was the woman, that was the main reason that his mind wandered for so long, to pay for her drink and slowly leaving the cozy cafe.

"I guess it's time to go home." he thought to himself, before he stood up from where he was sitting and making his way out of the shop.

Once he stepped outside, cold air hit his face, making some of his dizziness, to fade away for a while. On his way home, he set as the ultimate goal of his life, to find his little Ziva and bring her back home with him.

**TBC...**

_**Stay Hot!**_

_**M-F-M**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is the second chapter of our little story, written solely by 1st-huge-tiva-shipper and Mary.**  
**Because we are going to spend the Christmas holidays in different places, the next chapter will be up somewhere in the middle of January. But don't be so disappointed as 1st-huge-tiva-shipper is writing a one-shot/crossover that will be posted soon.**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing but our mistakes**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

After the murder attempt on Tony, Gibbs return from his secret mission along with Parsons, Tony decided to get on the plane and finally go to Ziva.

"Ziva"

"Don't worry Tony, we will be ok." said Ziva from across the airplane seat.

"Wait Ziva! What is Ziva doing on my plane? I'm not even in Israel yet!" thought Tony to himself as the image in front of him cleared, showing an unknown woman instead of Ziva.

"Are you ok? Do you want to get out?" asked the woman concerned.

"No,no. I'm good thanks." he replied, shifting in his seat looking outside the airplane window and falling into a restless sleep.

He was awaken by the sound of a flight attendants voice. "Please buckle up your seat belts and prepare for landing."

Tony only had to prepare himself mentally for what his future in Israel would hold for him, as the past times he's been there, something bad had always happened.

The plane landed on the Israel's capital airport. He waited for all the other passengers to get off the plane before he headed outside in the hot Israeli sun.

"Agent DiNozzo, if you could come with us please." said a man with a thick Israeli accent.

"You guys still on timeshares?" tried Tony to joke.

"Mossad." said the man again flashing his badge "Enter the vehicle. We have information that will worth your while."

Tony, reluctantly obeyed and got inside the SUV. Throughout the whole ride he was bombarded with all sorts of thoughts.

At first, he thought that maybe, MAYBE, that today was his lucky day and Mossad had found Ziva and she was waiting for him. But because his luck had been working against him for the past 8 years, it seemed more likely that Mossad wanted information out of him.

He would find soon enough as the car passed through two big iron gates.

* * *

Maybe she was getting too old for fights. No, probably not. She was only 32 after all. It doesn't matter, as she managed to kill her attackers and survive. With one minor problem. She was injured. She was shot on the leg from one of the attackers.

She could not be admitted to a hospital, because no one had to know about her whereabouts or she would be attacked again. So, she decided to visit her friend Dr. Deena Bishan, who would treat her and not ask questions.

"Deena."

The woman heard her name and turned around.

"Ziva? What are you doing here? What's wrong? Why are you walking like that? Are you injured?"

"Shalom Deena...I'm...I need your help." said Ziva.

"Of course. Follow me to my office." replied Deena grabbing her hand.

"No, I can't go to the hospital because they will find me."

"Who? Ziva what is going on?"

"I don't have time to explain. Can you help me or not?"

"Ok, just give me a minute to grab my purse and equipment and then I will take you at my house"

-20 stiches and 4 painkillers later Ziva and Deena sat across from each other.-

"I remember the last time we were sitting like this. It was two days after Ari's funeral. You had the same look on your face."

"Who attacked you?" asked Deena, trying to change the subject.

"I can't tell you." replied Ziva shifting in her position.

Suddenly, there was tension. Negative tension that had never occured to them before. They used to be best friends.

"You are still mad at me for killing Ari? I had no other choice, he was hurting people. Good people."

"He was your own brother, your own flesh and blood. How could you do that?" she asked rising from the couch.

"You wouldn't understand. He was not the same boy we grew up with, he was a bad man."

" No, YOU don't understand. How are you different from him, you kill people too. Have you ever thought how much pain you have caused to the families of the people YOU have killed. You are not that different from Ari. Scratch that, he would have never done that to you, I knew who the real Ari was!"

"I thought I knew him too, Deena. I was proven wrong." sighed Ziva.

"Nevertheless, you should have tried to help him, to change him for the better." shouted Deena.

Ziva was silent for a few minutes, like she was thinking about something over and over.

"You know what? I'm leaving. Thanks for helping me but I don't want to ruin our friendship." replied Ziva in a calm tone, making her way towards the door.

"Did you know that he was going to propose to me when he would come back from America, but no, you had to take him away from me along with my happiness!" she yelled like a maniac.

Ziva left Deena behind, reprocessing her words in her mind. She never thought that Deena was so affected by Ari's death. She never wanted Deena to be hurt by something she was responsible for.

* * *

When the elevator opened, he met face to face with Director Orli and Adam.

"Agent DiNozzo, welcome back to Israel." greeted Orli.

"Thank you Director." Tony replied.

"Hello Tony." Adam suddenly said.

"Adam, you made the big move from Shembat to Mossad or are you just here to say hi." Tony mocked him, because he just couldn't help himself from being the smartass he is and he still held him a grudge for sleeping with Ziva. HIS Ziva.

"You know why I'm here."

"Do I?"

"Rest the show Agent DiNozzo. We are all focused on one objective." said Orli while walking away along with Adam, making Tony to follow them.

"What's that?"

"Find Ziva David."

Tony followed Orli to an open space. She sat against the rail gazing at a small building, which was hiding a beautiful wild scenery.

"Those windows were restored at the request of my protecestor. He believed that with light comes clarity." Orli exclaimed.

"If you'll excuse me Director, as much as I enjoy abstract David family talk" interrupted Tony while taking off his sunglasses" Why don't you tell me what you know?" Tony asked curiously.

"When was your last communication with Ziva?" asked Orli.

"She's not Mossad. Not anymore. Why are you looking for?" Tony continued.

"The same reason you are."

"I doubt that."

"Alright, I will give you that. Eli would have wanted me to make sure she is safe."

They are interrupted by Adam. "Shembat identified the three men that were found dead at the David safe house. Common criminals. No political affeliation."

"Hired guns." Tony simply stated.

"Presumably bought by the same people who tried to kill you and Agent Gibbs." she told Tony.

Tony didn't respond but keeps on looking downwards, as if the floor was going to reveal to him where Ziva was.

"Do not tie my hands with your mistrust. When was your last communication with Ziva?" Orli insisted.

"Two nights ago. She sent this." he said and at the same time showing her a picture of young Ari and Ziva.

"Poor misguided Ari." she said with a sad tone.

"No message. Nothing since." said Tony putting his cell phone on his pocket.

"And you are worried that she is dead." she said and Tony faintly nodded.

"Tony, this is a cabbuts. Where Ziva and her siblings went as children." Adam jumped in the conversation giving Tony a photo of the house." Yesterday, a teacher saw a woman matching Ziva's description walking the grounds."

"The woman burried that in one of the gardens and then she fled." she said pointing at a piece of paper.

"I will ride a horse. Visit America." he turned page and continued. "She wrote this as a kid?"

"Both sets of handwriting are Ziva's, yes. Based on the insascretion the "x" and the last item where added recently." he said pointing at the big black X like Tony was blind or something and couldn't see it.

He didn't really listen to what Adam pointed out, instead he drew his attention to the line below. "Stop this for him. What does that mean? Stop what?"

"That is what concerns us."

Tony gave her an intrigued look.

* * *

Then, Tony along with Adam left the headquarters heading to Deena's Bishan house, an old friend of Ziva's.

She greeted them with an apparently common Israeli way, threatening their lives with a hammer. Thank god for Adam who translated *laughs irronically* like if she didn't speak English. She offered them tea as a redemption gesture and then told them about her past with Ziva and the "Will List". At the end, she told him that he might be the "HIM" Ziva was reffering to in the list because Ziva made it quit obvious to her father's funeral that she might have feeling for him. It looked like everybody knew about her feelings for him except for the guy who the feelings were addressed too.

When they returned to Tony had a videochat with McGee through MTAC who found it strange that Ziva wanted to grow up and become a ballerina instead of a ninja or something familiar. He also provided Tony some helpful info about Ziva's last known whereabouts.

He spent the next 3 hours and 6 minutes barking orders at some Mossad tech guys and gals who where not able to find her through the cameras. He so was desperate that he decided to go at the cafe and ask the people working there if they had seen her. However, Orli stopped him when gave him the last piece of the puzzle. Then everything cleared in his head as she saw Ziva talking to Dr. Bishan who had lied to him.

* * *

"You lied to me." said Tony walking up to Deena.

"Agent DiNozzo, what are you doing here?"

"You said you haven't seen Ziva in months. Hey-" he said grabbing her by the arm and causing her to stop. "-you think you are protecting her? I'm on her side." he said checking his surroundings for unwanted eavesdroppers.

"I know that."

"Then why did you lie to me?"

For a moment she looked outside from the large hospital window and folded her arms across her chest as she spoke. "She came to me after she had been attacked. I stiched up the wound in her leg and took her to my home so that she could rest, but then I..."

"Then what?" he asked impatiently.

"I could save both of us the heartache by keeping quiet, then she started to talk of old times, of Ari. She did not know that when she went to save the world I was here falling in live with her brother. He was going to propose to me." She continued with a broken voice "when she killed him."

"And you told her that."

"Yes, and she tried to explain it the way. She said that he was hurting good people. But, Ari was also hurt. His father had broken him. Still, I saw the smiling boy from across the hall, the good boy. Ziva begged me to forgive her. I could not." she admitted with a trembling voice and a wide smile.

"Where did she go?" he said leaning closer to her.

"I do not know."

"Don't lie to me."

"I didn't do anything wrong." she tried to defend her skinny little ass.

"You knew she was in danger and you lied to me. I asked you point blank." he said raising his voice.

"And had any other agent come to the door I would have said yes."

Tony looked at her with a broken poker face.

"Why would she have the man that she loves when she took mine from me?"

"I'm gonna find her." he said turning around and making his way to the exit, more determined than ever to find her now.

"Ziva is gone agent DiNozzo. When she left me that night, she was not the same person."

* * *

Tony is back at Mossad H.Q. after the rather unpleasant encounter with Deena Bishan. He snapped back to reality only when he heard Orli's footsteps approaching him.

"So that's it, huh?" he half-heartedly questioned her without making eye-contact.

"We believe that Ziva's absence is voluntary, and so do you. Everything Mossad has on David known family contacts. Good luck." she said while handing him an overstuffed file.

"Director, she left something at the safe house. Can you help me get it back?"

"Check the file." was the last words Tony ever heard from Director Orli again.

**TBC...**

**That's it for this year. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. HO HO HO**

**-Stay Hot**

**-M,F**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Hello again! We are all back from the holidays *sighs heavily* so expect more frequent updates from now and on. **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunatelly, we own nothing at all.**

**Enjoy!**

"What am I even doing here?

Well I didn't actually thought I'd find Ziva here, but it was worth the shot. Right now I am standing two feet away from the Cairo Opera House, where Ziva and Tali went when they were younger.

Before I came here, I visited other important places for Ziva, such as her mom's grave in Oman and her grandparents graves in Meron. I believe that it is pointless to say that I didn't find her in either places. How did l know about those places, one would ask. Well, Director Orli gave me these information and now I'm traveling all around the Middle East to find Ziva.

Despite my failure in spotting her, l decided to take a break and watch an Opera, to see if it could enlighten me about Ziva's whereabouts.

Big mistake. I didn't understand anything said or sang during the performance, but I did understand that the fat woman with the weird dress, probably the main character, died in the end, by the fact that she was stung in the chest. Yep, I'm totally clueless about Operas.

When I was done with that, I checked once again the list I got from the Director. There is one more place l should check. _The David family cottage._

Thank God I've got my GPS and laptop on me, so that I won't get lost, cause here it says that the cottage is in the middle of nowhere." Tony thought to himself as he gazed at the Cairo Opera House.

* * *

This is it. The house he had searched for so long, now was standing in front of him, in all its mighty glory. This is where Ziva was hiding from him. It looks kinda cozy and...

"Ok, cut the crap Dinozzo, it's time to step inside and face your wildest fears. And Ziva. Keep calm." he thought to himself and walked through the front porch, making his way to the door. "Should I knock or should I just step inside?"he wondered.

"Nah. Ziva is or maybe was Mossad, she'd knew if somebody was outside." Just then the door opened and he saw her.

Finally, he was face to face with her again, even if she was pointing her Glock at him. Man she looked pretty when she had a murderous look on her face. Enough daydreaming. Now it's time to speak.

"Can I come in?" Smooth Dinozzo, now she is definitely going to shoot you in the head. "Please?" That sounded pathetic, I have to rephrase that.

"Ziva, may I come in?" That's even worse. What kind of man am I, if I can't stand up to a woman? He tried manly this time.

"Ziva, I demand to co-"

"I heard you the first time and if you had payed any attention to me, you would have seen that I stepped aside for you to come in" She was right. She had indeed stepped aside. He went in now that he was sure he had permission to to do so.

The house wasn't as impressive inside as it was from outside. It wasn't as bright and it was almost bare with only a handful of furniture to fill it. What intrigued him more was the interesting smell. It smelled awfully familiar. Like if he was a soldier gone to war and came back home after a long time. That's what it reminded him. Yep, he has to stop watching so many movies. Even Ziva would have agreed to that. Speaking of which, she just passed by him and made her way to a room he supposed was the living room. It was indeed the living room.

When he entered the room, Ziva was already sitting on the couch. He made his way towards the couch and sat next to her, but he was careful enough to leave some space between them. You just never know with Ziva around.

"Ziva... l-" he began to talk, but he was interrupted by a beeping sound. Apparently someone found the best time to call him on video chat. He let it beep, until it stopped. Then he tried to form a sentence. Again. "I wanted... to tell that-"

_Beep-Beep._

He was once again interrupted. He had left twice his train of thoughts. It stopped. Now's your chance Dinozzo."Ziva... I came here to-"

_Beep-Beep_

"Shit" he muttured under his breath. "I bet that's that stupid McCockbloker, because he is the only person I know, that has this bad timing when it comes to calling or just appearing out of nowhere." he thought.

"Maybe you should take that. It might be important." Ziva fimally spoke.

"But-"

"No buts. I'm going to the other room and you answer."

"No don't go. I'll just go to the balcony."

And he did so. He opened the computer. He was right, McGee was calling him. Letting out a deep sigh he answered.

"Om... yeah, I'm here." he said glancing at Ziva who was standing under the doorframe.

"Well that beard is getting pretty serious. When was the last time you shaved? Cairo?" McGee greeted back.

"I guess so. I meant to do that this morning."

"Hey, is this a bad time for you Dinozzo?" asked Gibbs, not

"No boss."This time Ziva was gone." It's good. I'm ready"

"You still in Yemen?"

"Israel. Circled back to Tel Aviv. Just got to bear Shiva. One of Ziva's contacts, Nava Addi told me she saw her last week. I'm getting close, I can feel it."

" You said that, two months ago."

"So what about you guys? My sniper friend Papa's head up?" Tony said changing the subject.

"Cold well. No, still off the radar." replied Mcgee.

"Old man Walters?"

"Hanging in there. No excitement since the explosion. Although Fornell keeps talking about how it would have been a gonner, if Mendez hadn't taken that call. As far as Parsa goes-"

"Enough. Unless he booked his flight home, an update is wasted on him."

"You want me to give up on Ziva?"

"I didn't say that."

"Are you giving up on her?"

"I didn't say that either."

"Boss, maybe you could try saying what you are saying."said Mcgee, trying to help his boss.

"If Ziva doesn't want to be found, you aren't going to find her. I'm saying that you should respect that."

"I do. I just... need to go off the grid for a few days. Follow this lead. I just need a little more time."

"You do what you have to do" replied Gibbs and made a gesture to someone in MTAC to end the call.

"You know how hard that was."

"Gibbs was right. I did not want you to find me...and yet you did." said Ziva who had returned to her previous spot.

"I should have told him."

She ignored him and got inside."You can not be down my door one minute and expect me to face my old life again the next."

"Hey.' he shouted."I had to take the call."

"You didn't have to do any of are you here?"

"Because you invited me."

"That was before."

"Before what?"He was confused now. She, herself had invited him 3 months ago.

"You should not have come."

Those were Ziva's last words, before she stormed out of the living room and into another room. Tony was left standing still, but not for too long, as he decided to leave the house and have a walk to what seemed like an orange or olive garden.

* * *

Almost half an hour later, he made his way inside, but not before he peeked through the window to see if Ziva was at the living room or not. They really needed to talk, because he had questions that only she could answer. He approached her, while taking from his pocket the Star of David they had found at the safe house. He sat down and brought it to her line of sight. She looked it for a moment before she grabbed it. Tony noticed the way her eyes lit up but didn't say a word,he just waited for her to speak up.

"Old friend. Thank you."

"You asked how I found you. For a long time l was looking ahead. I kept telling myself, you know how she thinks. You know her. All you have to do is anticipate her next move. And then one night l had a dream. Everything was all lined up, together. Your family's safe house, Ari's picture,you, your old friend Bishan. And when I woke up, I knew that you weren't looking ahead. You were looking back." He then stood up, put his hands in his pockets and walked towards the big window,"the Opera House in Cairo where you took Tali" he said turning around and standing behind the couch." And finally, I found you here" he said kneeling and placing his hands on the back of the small couch, behind Ziva. "Of course, the house where you were born."

"After my father died, returning to these places seemed necessary. It started off as a good thing, but then l saw Dina Beeshan and I..."

"This all can't be because of her."

"No it's not because of her, it's because of me."

"You had to kill Ari. One person loving him doesn't change that."

"Yes but I loved him, just as l loved my father and Tali. How can I not think that for every man l killed there is someone out there crying for him."

"It's part of the job. You gotta leave it with that."

"Dina blamed me. I thought that by going back to these places, l would erase all of that, but each stop just made it clear that she was right. The center of all this pain is me."

"Ziva, this isn't you!"

"This is ME Tony! This is what I made of myself. But it's not who l wanted to be."

"I know" he said rising and sitting on the couch next to her but not before he took the wishlist out of his pocket and showed it to her.

"l know. You wanted to be a ballerina." he said and Ziva looked at him like he had grown another head or something. She had burried that list for a reason. "Stop this for him. Who? Ari? Eli? God?" he continued.

"This was supposed to stay buried."

"Orli was looking for you too." said Tony, like that explained everyhting.

Ziva stared at the list for a long moment before she found the courage to talk,

"This little girl was strong. She could have walked away from her father's world. Thing would have been different." she said and stood up, making her way to the window like Tony had done a few minutes before.

"It's never too late."

"Yes it is."

Tony couldn't listen to her nonsense anymore, so he tried to knock some sense into her haid.

"This is the house where you were born. The universe is practically begging you to wipe the slate clean. I did notice that there is plenty of room in the back of this list to start a new one. Maybe I can help you with that.

Ziva looked at him with a sad look not because she didn't have any wishes but because she knew that they would not come true.

"I don't know Tony."

"I'm sure that you have a wish." said Tony chuckling

"It's not that I don't have wishes..."She replied while walking away from Tony and sitting on the couch.

"Then what?" he asked following her.

"I just know that my wishes won't come true."

"It's worth a try."

"No it's-" she tried to protest but Tony interrupted her.

"What are you going to lose?"

She took the paper and put it on the table, she took a pen and she wrote on top of it:

** I WILL**

** 1. Let go of the badge.**

** 2. Move** **on.**

** 3. Tell him.**

Ziva was writting the wishes alone and in Hebrew. Tony was in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

After 10 minutes Tony entered the living room

"Ahrghe hyou donu?"Tony said

"What?!" Ziva asked confused.**  
**

"Are you done?"

"Yes... Yes i am." she answered and folded the paper in two.

"Then, let's put it in a beautiful small box and then let's burry it " He said eating the rest of his sandwhich.

* * *

Tony waited patiently for Ziva to finish burring the box before he asked her

"Feel better?"

"No. But it's a start." replied Ziva while running her right hand through her hair.

"You don't have to do this alone. Come back to DC with me."

"The first thing on my new list was, I will let go of the badge."

"I'm not talking about NCIS. Listen, you can bag groceries for all l care."

"Hmm."

"Just come home. I just want you to come home, with me."

"I don't think that's a ve-". She tried to leave but Tony grabed her hand.

"Listen, I it's ha-" his voice broke, but regained his composure and continued. "And I know that you wanna change. I can change with you." He stopped once again, to let his words sink into her mind.

Ziva looked into his green eyes which were filled with tears. She hated seeing him cry.

Tony took her hand and placed a feather-light kiss on her knuckles and then continued playing with her hand. Ziva then pulled her hand away only to place both of them on each side of his face and caress his cheeks.

An invisible force pulled her closer to him.

"I'm fighting for you Ziva" he simply stated.

" I know" she replied and coming closer and closer until their lips finally meet.

And just like that something explodes inside him, making him feel overwhelmed and lightheaded.

He tries to put all his emotions in this single kiss. The love he feels for her, the desperation he felt everytime he went at a new city looking for her and didn't find her, the unresolved sexual tention between them, that had been building up for 8 years, and finally lust and desire. Desire to feel her lips pressed to his, to know if her hair is as silky and soft, as he imagines it to be, if she will let him touch her and feel her smooth sun-kissed skin under his fingertips, if she would follow him into exploring their feelings for each other together, without anyone chasing them and trying to kill them. Just the two of them, in the middle of nowhere, trying to make whatever that it is between them, work.

He hasn't realised that his right hand is on hair, playing with it, while his left one is on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. Ziva's hands had gone from caressing his cheeks to caressing his neck. And God knows how much he doesn't want her to stop.

He removes his hand from her hair and places both of his hands under her sweater and on her skin. The shiver that goes down her spine and the moan that escapes her lips, don't go unnoticed by him. Yep, her skin is even smoother than he has ever imagined and he can't help himself from tracing small patterns that make her shiver. He would be lying if he said, that he doesn't enjoy what he is doing to her, which is only the beginning of what he has in mind.

The need for oxygen is unbearable and he pulls away, only to take a breath, and begins kissing her collarbone. Ziva titles her head to the left, to give him better access and her hands go under his jacket and she begins to pull it down, to remove it from Tony's shoulders.

Tony has an inner battle, of whether he should remove his hands from the small of her back or not, but Ziva's insistence forces him to, reluctantly, remove his hands and let her slide the jacket off his shoulders, leaving a path of fire on his skin, which might be covered in a light t-shirt, but doesn't stop him from shivering. While Ziva was busy with his jacket, he had moved lower and was now kissing her neck, when he suddenly stops.

The sound of his jacket hitting the ground, literally, made him realise that they were in a garden, without much as a lounge or even floor.

"What's wrong, Tony?" Ziva asked. She thought that he wanted this as much as she did, well at least that was what he was showing her.

"You do realise that we are outside in a garden, right?"

"Yes." she replied with hesitation.

"Which means that we can't continue what we're doing."

"Why?" she asked teasing him and having understood what he was talking about.

"The dirt is not very comfortable for action."

"What, you have never tried sex on the beach?"

"If you mean the drink, yes, but if you mean the act, no."

"You know what they say." she said leaning closer, hovering over his lips. "There is always a first time for everything."

"I'm pretty sure that whoever quoted that, didn't have that in mind."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"What's wrong with her?" Tony thought. "She is not acting like the Ziva I know. Maybe I'm affecting her."

"Listen, you have no idea how much I want to continue this." he said motioning his finger between them. "But I think that a bed or even a couch would be better."

Without answering she began walking towards her house. Tony didn't even bother to collect his jacket as he had more important things to do, such as intertwin his fingers with hers, just like he had done before the car accident. Ziva looked down at their linked hands and smiled, a knowing smile which told him that she had remembered too.

They climbed the 3 steps that separated them from the door. Ziva pushed it open and they got inside.

They looked at each other.

What Ziva saw in his eyes was pure desire and another emotion, she was afraid to name. She looked away from his face and focused on the floor, wondering whether she should say those 3 or 5 words to him.

"Tony, I..." she finally said, rising her head. She didn't get the chance to continue as Tony claimed her lips with his. Ziva let out a whimper of surprise, but quickly recovered as she put her hands around Tony's neck.

They kissed for some time, taking it slowly and enjoying the moment without rush, until Tony began rising the hem of her sweater, pulling it up and over her head. Ziva did the same thing with him and pulled his t-shirt off.

Tony broke the kiss, only to place light kisses on her neck again. "Bedroom?" he asked in between kisses. "Left." replied Ziva in a low tone.

With one swift move, he placed his hands on her waist and picked her up, while Ziva put her legs around Tony's thigh. The way they both felt, when her skin collided with his, was something that could not be expressed with words. It was a feeling that none of them had experienced before.

He covered the few feet to her bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving the rest of the world outside from what was bound to be the best day of his entire life.

**We hope that you liked it. Please leave us a review and tell us what you think.**

**Until next time STAY HOT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello people! It's us again! (Yuppiii). Firstly we want to thank all those who have favorite and follow the story. This is sorta a filler chapter, with big amounts of fluff (don't get used to it, cause it's the last fluffy chapter{we think, not decided yet}) and for those who are big huge-Tiva shippers (like us, except for mary) you better have tissues and chocolate nearby, cause this chapter contains the last tiva scene (we all know which one, even mary does and she doesn't even watch the series) and from the next chap. the rest is fictional. No more scenes from the episodes. **

**Disclaimer: We own nothing besides from our mistakes. If we did though, tiva would be a canon years ago.(and Jenny would have never died...)**

**Enjoy!**

Ziva is not awoken by the sunlight, which is threatening to blind her, as last night she was too occupied to pull the curtains, but by something or should she say by someone, who is placing soft-barely-there kisses on her shoulder blades.

Her Mossad training and mind are screaming at her to stop it right now, because everything about it is just so wrong. She decides against it. She has listened to her mind for the past 8 years and where did that bring her; hiding away from some of her father's old enemies, who want to kill her. And if there is one thing she has learnt from Gibbs, is to listen to her heart and it's about time she starts to.

She lets Tony continue kissing her, because she knows that this is the first and last time they'll meet. Sure, last night was the best night of her life, but she's not going home with Tony. She has caused so much pain, that being happy seems unfair. She has made her decision, no matter how much Tony tries to change her mind. She knows he will.

"You do realise, that I've known that you've been awake this whole time, right?"

"I do, but I didn't want to stop you. Besides, you tend to get a little cranky when you're being interrupted."

"I don't."

"Yes, yes you do Tony."

"If you say so." she says and shot a death glare to his direction and of course it scared the crap out of Tony.

"Zi... you don't scare the crap out of a man, you just spent the night with, the following morning. Women usually do that a couple of months later."

"OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"For saying what you said."

"Somebody's slept on the wrong side of the bed."

"Yes, because someone slept on mine!"

"And I'm the cranky one!"

"And I'm going to make breakfast. Do you want some?"

Then his stomach growled.

"I'll take that as a yes" she said and rose from the bed, wearing the first thing she saw, which happened to be Tony's black T-shirt. It reached mid-thigh, leaving her tonned legs exposed.

Ziva knew that preparing breakfast and acting all domestic was not her, but Tony seems to bring out the best of her. Also, she wants to have a taste of the life, she would have with him. "You have to stop thinking like that. You know that it could never happen. You're just delaying the inevitable." She thought to herself as she made coffee.

* * *

Today it is Delilah's birthday and McGee is far away.

Right now, Delilah is at a park, surrounded by strangers, looking at the sky which was orange and was starting to change to dark blue. Oh, how she wished to be back in D.C. and spend her birthday with McGee. But no, she of all of people, had to go to New York City for work. While she was gazing at the, oh so beautiful sky colors, her phone buzzed. She takes it out of her pocket and she's who's calling. It's McGee.

"Hi Tim."

"Hey Delilah How are you, babe?"

"Lonely. I wish you were here with me."

"Delilah-"

"No Tim, I understand. You couldn't take a break from work, it's ok."

"Turn around."

And she did so. Infront of her stood her loved one.

"Tim, what are you doing here?"

"Just listen." And then he started singing.

_Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?_  
_I'm a thousand miles away, but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do..._  
_Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true..._

_Hey there Delilah, don't you worry about the distance, _  
_I'm right there, if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes..._  
_Listen to my voice it's my disguise, I'm by your side..._

_Oh, it's what you do to me..._  
_Oh, it's what you do to me._

_Oh, it's what you do to me..._  
_Oh, it's what you do to me._  
_What you do to me._

He goes closer as he sings the next part.

_A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars,_  
_I'd walk to you, if I had no other way..._

_Our friends would all make fun of us, especially Dinozzo,_  
_and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way..._

_Delilah I can promise you, that by the time that we get through,_  
_the world will never ever be the same, and you're to blame..._

_You know it's all because of you..._

_We can do whatever we want to..._

McGee stopped singing and said with an emotional voice. "Hey there Delilah, here's to you... This one's for you..." He took a deep breath and continued.

_Oh, it's what you do to me..._  
_Oh, it's what you do to me._

_Oh, it's what you do to me..._  
_Oh, it's what you do to me._  
_What you do to me..._

"Happy birthday, baby." he said when he finished singing.

Delilah was left speechless, she couldn't do anything more than to run towards him and hug him as tight as she could. Suddenly, there was clapping and cheering. Apparently, a small crowd had formed around them, while McGee was singing to her, just like in the cliche romance movies, when the main the character would serenade his soulmate. If they kissed as well under the rain, then Delilah would be convinced that she was living a fairytale.

* * *

"You're making a big mistake."

"No Tony, this is the right decision."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"This is not you, Ziva."

"It is Tony. This is the real me."

"No it's not. I know the real you Ziva. The real you is a loving and caring person, who still can kill a man 18 different ways with a paperclip or a credit card. You are the strongest person I know, because despite everything you've been through in your life, you've become stronger with each passing day and have moved on. But now you decide to listen to one single person, who tells you that you've done wrong. That's not true Ziva, trust me, I know you better than you think."

"You don't know me that good Tony and Deena was right, I have caused too much pain. I have killed more people than I can count and at the end, I have become one of the 'bad guys', that we chase and try to put in jail. I'm not any different from them."

"Yes you are. They take lifes because they want to, but you take lifes because you have to."

"Like you said, I take lifes which I don't have the right to."

"You do when they are scumbags, who have nothing better to do than hurt other people. Besides, this is a long conversation which we could be having on the plane, on our way to D.C."

"Nice try Tony, but I'm not coming. I've set up my mind."

"Made up your mind."

"Same difference." she said and rose from the couch. "Now, we should better get going if you don't want to miss your flight."

"Is there anything else I can do, to make you come home with me?"

"No Tony, my decision is final, I'm staying."

"But why?"

"Because I can't. I have to start over and going back to D.C. is not going to help me."

"Would you come with me, if I told you that there are people in Washington waiting for you to return, who care about you, who need you and love you more than anything else in the world?" he said as he made a step towards her. " Would you come with me, if you knew that there is one person in particular, who can't live without you because he loves you too much?"

"We both know that you don't mean it. You're acting on impulse."

He started laughing. "You don't know what impulse means Ziva. Me wanting to make you come with me is not impulse. Last night was not an impulse either."

"Last night was different. You're a man and I'm a woman. It's something natural."

"Pleaseeee. We're not animals for God's sake! What happened last night between us, was not a physical need. There were feelings involved and don't you dare try to deny it. After last night, I'm sure that the feelings are mutual."

"Don't kid yourself. There were no feelings, just 8 years of sexual tention. Now let's go, because if you miss your plane you're going to walk all the way to D.C."

* * *

It was a very hot day in D.C. Everyone was stuck in traffic, trying to get to their jobs. People are yelling at each other and there are horns and swearing everywhere, millions of cars waiting to get to their destinations. One particular black VW was stuck in traffic as well.

"We are going to be late." Breena started worrying. It was their first ever meeting in an orphan house and she didn't want to be late.

"Don't worry Breena, we are going to get there on time." He looked at her and touched her hand slowly.  
After one hour they finally arrived.

They wandered around the but could not The good news is that they weren't late, but the bad news is that they couldn't find any baby for them. They were walking around the orphan house with a young woman, named Nina. She was a tall, blond assistant, who helped couples to find the right child for them. They met a lot of young and cute kids, but they couldn't find the right for them. It wasn't the colour or the nationality. That wasn't the reason that they couldn't find a child to raise. They wanted to find a new born baby, so that they could feel the feeling of raising a baby. After they left disappointed from the orphan house they went immediately to their house. They didn't lose their hope, because they knew that eventually they would find the right child.

"There's still time for you to change your mind. What am I gonna tell people?"

"That you were right. I have to start over."

"Ok, you and I both know, that's not gonna be enough for Abby."

"Tell her that I am honoring Gibbs."

"Gibbs?" asked Tony confused.

"Stop this for him."

"Of course. Gibbs." he sais again as realisation washed over him.

"I want to make him proud. He taught me to follow my heart and I know that I have to... I have to do this alone. I have to let go of everything, or I will be pulled back to where I started. Tell Abby that for me. She'll understand."

"I will. So what about Gibbs? You gonna call him?"

"l don't know."

"You gotta call the guy."

"I don't know if I can."

"Oh, it will be fine. You know how he is on the phone. Functional mute. You'll hardly know he's there. He's a good listener."

"Tony you are so..."

Tony was intrigued and began closing the distance between them."Handsome, funny? What?"

"Loved."

He could not resist anymore and placed his hand on her hair but before he kissed her he looked into her eyes seeking for her approval. He doesn't know who made the first move but in less than a second their lips met in the sweetest of kisses. He tried to hang on her as much as possible but he knew that he couldn't stay there for long since his flight left in less than 5 minutes. "No, 2 minutes. Actually it's leaving right now I have to pull back." he thought to himself.

He pulle back but didn't take his gaze off her. "This is not easy. " It really wasn't. After 8 years of f-f-friendship, 3 months of searching for her and after spending the best night of his life with her, leaving her was the hardest decision he had to make and it was a decision he hadn't made.

He began walking backwards wanting to look at her until the last moment."Hardest 180 of my life." he said he turned around making his way towards the airplane.

Ziva watched as he left, tears streaming down her face. When he reached the top of the staircase he looked her way and waved at her. Ziva tried to smile at him but it came out more like a cry. She waited until he was out of sight before she broke down.

* * *

"Hey Ziver."

Ziva smiled at the mention of her nickname.

"Hello Gibbs. I called to see if you are alright."

"I'm fine, but I would be better if you were on the same plane with Dinozzo right now, coming home."

"You, from all people, know that I can't."

"I'm not going to argue with you Ziver, but I want you to know, that my door and NCIS are always open for you."

"I know but I'm not planning on coming."

"You will."

"What makes you say that?"

"My gut, which is how I know that you were there, when I was talking to Dinozzo."

"Of course you do. You're Gibbs." he laughed a little bit at her comment, and then she continued. "I'm going to miss you and the rest of the team, but I've made the right decision and I am sticking to it. After I realised what I have done and the person that I have become, I need to change, I need to do this on my own, or I will be pulled back to my old life."

"And you don't want that." he simply stated.

"No, I don't."

"It was nice talking to you Ziver and in this new life of yours, don't forget to call your old man sometimes."

"Shalom Ziva."

"Goodnight Gibbs."

* * *

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